In My Opinion…your Opinion doesn’t matter! (SO SHUT UP!)
Being a style Blogger can sometimes be confused with being self absorbed, cocky, overly confident, and just wanting to take and post pictures of yourself all the time. And for some that may be so, but my motives are the complete opposite. As confident as I am, I struggle with my insecurities just like anyone else. And believe it or not, I have not always been so sure of myself. I am continuously on a journey to fully embrace all of me. Still to this day I have my moments where I look in the mirror and go ugh! My mission is to motivate others who identify with me to embrace themselves in spite of what others think. I struggle with how much of myself to reveal to others, because once your insecurities are out there, you become vulnerable. So bear with me as I share with you something that I have been debating to blog about for a couple of days now. Here it goes…
When I posted this picture on social media over the weekend…
I received comments like…
“Alright Kala”
“I like.”
“SKIN!!”
“Gorgeous!!”
“Showing some skin huh”
“Swag is SICK I swear!”
But you know there is always that one…the negative one. My mother always told me if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say nothing at all, but apparently NO ONE follows that unwritten rule.
A couple of days after I posted that photo, some one walks up to me and says “why do I see your stomach out on my timeline?” So the asshole that lies deep within me responded, “ummm because I uploaded a picture so it appeared on your timeline, that’s why.”
The person then proceeded to say that “aint suppose to be out!” I responded why not, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. The person says if your belly has a curve it shouldn’t be out, that’s not for people your size. (The nerve right!..people will really say anything to you) My emotions began to flare! I am one of those people who sounds like they are speaking aggressively when they are speaking about something that they are passionate about.
So I politely gathered my thoughts and explained that I thought the way I was dressed was very tasteful and appropriate for my body type. It was only a hint of midriff exposed and my stomach was not hanging all over the place. The person then proceeds to make a joke about how if you don’t have a four pack, then no parts of your stomach should be exposed. The person then giggled while saying “so if you have a “one or a two” (meaning pack) then you should’t wear it.” I asked whose rule is this? I explained that this is the problem with society, everyone is trying to conform to the industry standard. But what makes “the industry” credible enough to dictate what we should and should’t do. My motto is “I WEAR WHAT I WANT.” And that is literally what I do. And, since I don’t meet the industry’s standard of Beauty, then technically I don’t have to follow their fabricated rules of whats socially acceptable. It simply just doesn’t apply to me right?! Right!
Needless to say the discussion went on back and forth for about 10 minutes until I decided to end it by saying that is your opinion! But quite frankly I wanted to say “That is your opinion, and it has no value to me.”
So why did this person feel it necessary to tell me something about my attire? Well, this person in particular makes comments about my pictures and what I’m wearing all the time to me in person. But they never ever hit the like button! Now I will admit social can be too political and overly exaggerated, but I believe in showing love. So if you like something, Literally “LIKE IT.”
hmmm so this got me to thinking…
I know this may sound crazy, but Confidence is offensive! Yes, people don’t like it when you are sure of yourself and truly don’t care what others think of you. It bothers them, so to make themselves feel better they attempt to tear you down.
I think I looked damn good that night, if I have to say so myself!
I believe everyone has to dress for their body type whether you are short, fat, skinny, tall, or just stuck in the middle. Everyone is different. My friend
Jahan tells me all the time.
“Everything in moderation, some things not at all.” That is the perfect life motto and it also relates to style and fashion. I believe me choosing to wear my midriff out was done in moderation. Now perhaps if my skirt was lower and more of my stomach was exposed it could have been all wrong. But that was not the case.
This whole scenario reminded me of a post my friend
Adri posted…
and a post my blogger boo
Essie posted…
What that person didn’t realized is that the comment actually helped me. It reminded me of why I began blogging and encouraged me to keep doing what my heart desires in spite of adversity .
People will always have something to say. The saying goes “when they are talking about you, that means you are doing something right, when they stop talking then you should worry!
So let em’ talk!
I decided to start the “In my Opinion” section of my blog because I want my readers to get me, and have a better sense of who I am beyond what they see. This is my outlet, this is my voice, this is my opinion.
Thanks for Reading!
I love it!!!! I am tired of ignorant people thinking that plus size women are supposed to stay in their box. First of all please know I am too large for that Mofo. They act as if we don’t have the right to be BOLD, FIERCE AND FEARLESS. I hate when I talk fashion and someone say, “YOU going to where that?” Hell yes I am!!!! I know my body, I know what looks good and what doesn’t, the last thing I need is you telling me what to wear……..
AMEN!!!!! I Couldn’t agree more!!!! you said it all and then some! I struggled with whether or not to post this and responses like this made me happy I did! Thank you for your thoughts and thanks for reading!
You look great in that outfit ,you our aspiring myself,young girls and women to embrace the body that they have and that sexy comes in their size too. You keep doing what you do cause I love it!!!!!
thank you boo! I really appreciate it and thanks for reading!
Love this. I had some guys tagging each other and having a “inside joke” conversation about my weight and looks under one of my pictures. I will tell you this, folks really hate when us curvy girls have any sort of confidence. Who’s rules are these, and who are these people to enforce it? It bugs me when they say “shouldn’t be doing this or that”…why the hell not? It shouldn’t bother folks if you are tastefully clothed on your own personal account. I’ve seen it plenty of times where folks are saying “oh these bigs girls are way to confident”…why shouldn’t we be? Are we supposed to hide in the carkness in moo moo’s and not enjoy life?
You looked amazing and I absolutely would have probably cursed that person the f*ck out……not only was it tactless it was downright rude. You are a grown a** woman and if the person isn’t buying your clothes they have no right to tell YOU what’s appropriate for YOU. You did it tastefully and u look fab!
thank you so much hun! and its because of people like you that we can not care what others think! thanks for reading and always showing love! I really appreciate it!
Well said!
Ever so often we unwillingly hear the ignorance of others and how they perpetuate this notion of beauty being a size small, with long flowing hair and smooth skin. It has actually become oddly strange that the only “flaw” in the industry is being plus. Many who have yet to deal with issues if their own, take insecurities of others. ..i.e plus-sized women ( with flabby arms, love handles, over-sized belly) and use such to divert people away from their own personal problems. One who is simply as confident and self assured as you will never have to tear another down to make themselves feel better; yet we live in a society where people thrive on the downfall of others. Keep it up Kala, I am beyond proud and happy for you. You have an unbelievable style. And REMEMBER, what Susie says of Sally, is not a reflection of Sally, but a reflection of Susie!!!!
wow! that was powerful..this is deff a topic that needs to be further discussed! thank you sooooo much for your support! I really appreciate it! like you have no idea how much this means to me! thanks for reading!
Your So right about everything you said to him! LOVE YOURSELF SWEETIE & I LIKE WHAT YOU HAD ON, IT WAS NICE! HATERS ARE MOTIVATERS! BE BLESS!
thank you hun! and thank you for reading! I really really appreciate it!
I follow your blog via Bloglovin because You are CONFIDENT in Your Skin and I like to see what you are wearing & read what you are saying. Do NOT let anyone dull your Shine!!
thank you so much hunni! i really appreciate the support!
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